Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. But this one doesn't.

Hail to the Sun God! He is the Fun God! Ra! Ra! Ra!

"Why do we have to hide from the police, Daddy?"
"Because we use vi, son. They use emacs."

"Lotto: A tax on people who are bad at math."
				-- unknown

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

"Unix is not a `A-ha' experience, it is more of a `holy-shit' experience."
				-- Colin McFadyen

Do not taunt happy fun ball.

"A witty saying proves nothing."
				-- Fransua Voltaire

"Out of register space (ugh)"
				-- vi

Stop Plate Tectonics.

AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous  

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist 

American Non Sequitur Society - "We may not make sense, but we do like pizza" 

"I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS." 
				-Robert Bakker, paleontologist   

Why get a Philosophy degree? It's more respectable than a theater degree, 
and  you get to drink lots of espresso.

Measure twice, cut once.

#define NULL 0           /* silly thing is, we don't even use this */
        			--Larry Wall, perl.c 

A Canadian is just an unarmed American with health insurance. 
				-- John Wing Jr

A harp is a nude piano.

All generalizations are false.

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." 
				-- Mark Twain 

All other things being equal, fat people use more soap.

Ambiguous headline:  DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING

Ambiguous headline:  IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

Ambiguous headline:  TWO CONVICTS EVADE NOOSE, JURY HUNG

Archduke Ferdinand found alive -- First World War a mistake!

Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; 
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
			-- A. Whitney Brown 

I don't know what weapons they will use in World War III, 
but they will be using clubs in the fourth.
			-- Albert Einstein 

Philosophical Campaign Slogans: "Heraclitus: He's for Change!"

Philosophical Campaign Slogans: "Parmenides for President: He's the One!"

Philosophical Campaign Slogans: "Kierkegaard: Take the leap to a new level of politics"

Philosophical Campaign Slogans: "Pascal . . . The Best Bet!"

Philosophical Campaign Slogans: "F. H. Bradley: The Absolutely Ideal Candidate"

"He's bread, Jim." 
	- McCoy after a tragic transporter accident while visiting planet Pillsbury.

"Calling EMACS an editor is like calling the Earth a hunk of dirt."
                  -- Chris DiBona on Dirt (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)

"Recursive, adj.; see Recursive"

Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

'A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.' 
			- R. Frost

'It is not the fall that kills you.  it's the sudden stop at the end.' 
			-D. Adams

'The faster you go, the shorter you are' 
			- Einstein

43% of all statistics are worthless.

==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==

<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife

Eschew obfuscation!

Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.

Scientists discover life causes cancer.

Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF

When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect 'Hungry'

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate 
                                   is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: My work has a lot of practical importance.

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: Your latest article was so inspiring. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: The department is giving me so much support.

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: My job prospects look really good. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: I'm not going to grant any extensions. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool. 

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: My other section is much better prepared than you guys.

Common Lies Told by Grad Students: It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe. 

You just might be a graduate student if: you can analyze the significance of appliances 
                                         you cannot operate.

You just might be a graduate student if: you are startled to meet people who neither 
                                         need nor want to read.  

You just might be a graduate student if: you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

You just might be a graduate student if: you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

You just might be a graduate student if: you consider all papers to be works in progress. 

You just might be a graduate student if: you find the bibliographies of books more interesting 
                                         than the actual text. 

You just might be a graduate student if: you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

You just might be a graduate student if: you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".